When I wake up tomorrow morning, I will have 5 days left in Phnom Penh, Cambodia, where I have spent the last 5 and a half months of my life.

Where to begin?

I guess I’ll start with this - When I suck, God is good. When I doubt, God is faithful. When I’m powerless, God is almighty. When I’m distant, God is here. When I’m lazy, God is working. When I’m bitter, God is forgiving. When I’m harsh, God is graceful. When I’m a hypocrite, God is just. When I’m unforgiving, God is merciful. When I’m short-tempered, God is patient.

And through ALL my short-comings, God is loving.

This is a beautiful truth that I’ve always known, but is just now settling in my heart. In the West, we’ve all heard “God loves you no matter what” dozens of times. But in the past half-year, the Lord has really been hitting my heart hard with the fact that there is absolutely nothing I have ever done or could ever do to earn my salvation - I am saved completely by grace. And what’s been hitting my heart even harder is that because I haven’t done anything to earn my salvation, there’s nothing I can do to lose it.

I’m not saying that we can go do whatever we want and all will be good and dandy. “Shall we go on sinning so that grace shall increase? Surely not!”

I’m saying that no matter how weak I may be, no matter how many times I mess up and make mistakes, no matter how foolish I am at times, no matter how many times I give into sin, God takes me when I come to him. He loves me, wants me, and wants to use me. 

And that boggles my mind.

I’ve also been really hit with how much I need to depend on Christ.

Since I’ve been here, I’ve been up, and I’ve been down. I’ve been passionate, and I’ve been unemotional. I’ve been active, and I’ve been lethargic. I’ve been joyful, I’ve been frustrated, and I’ve been somewhere in-between. I’ve been plentiful, and I’ve been broke. I’ve been healthy, and I’ve been ill.

And through every moment of it, Jesus Christ has been by my side. He is always faithful, always reliable, and always comes through.

I can’t even love on my own. I like to think I’m a pretty nice guy, but when I don’t pray for love, I honestly have a really hard time giving a rat’s ass about my “neighbor.” I have to come before the Lord every morning asking for joy and for love for the people around me. ‘Cause when I do, God answers. He gives me eyes that see “neighbors” as “brothers and sisters, some lost and some found.” He gives me a heart feeling as if it’s literally overflowing with love and compassion for the least of those around me. He gives me a smile that just can’t help but to show itself in the pure joy of living another day.

There’s no way I can write down all the stuff in my head right now and I’m not sure how to end this blog. So, I’ll end with this:

It’s bittersweet leaving Cambodia. I’ve made so many friends and connected with so many people here - from my Khmer brothers and sisters between Beracah and Morning Star, and those at Second Mile (the church I’ve been going to). And it’s gonna be painful going away knowing that I’m probably not going to see any of them again for a very long time. But then again, I’m looking forward to coming home to all my family and friends in Cali to catch up with everyone and begin the next season that the Lord has prepared for me.

I’m coming home forever changed by the incredible 9 month blessing of World Horizons’ gap year program.

Hallelujah. Amen.

I’ve been learning a lot about brotherhood in the Church. I’m talking about genuine, loving, pure-hearted brotherhood, which is made in this single factor: the resurrection of Jesus Christ.

But I’ve been thinking recently - why would brotherhood be limited to those that believe in the Resurrection? Yes, it’s true that the Resurrection unites believers as brothers and sisters. And yes, Paul does write to the Galatians
“Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers.”
But he’s just saying that as believers, we are, indeed, a familly. And we should take care of each other. But he’s not dulling down the good that we should do to “all people,” nor the unity that we should seek with “all people.” We as believers were created by the same God that non-believers were created by. So even though some people may not see that unity, may the followers of Christ see it - and seek it.
 

If you’ve seen the movie “To Save a Life,” this may sound familiar.

Think of this:

What would you do for $20? Would you french kiss your dog? Would you take your mom to prom? Before you read on, if you’re around a friend or family member, ask them “If I told you to _________(fill in the blank)___________ for $20, would you do it?” Have them ask you the same question a few times. We’d do all sorts of crazy stuff.

But what would you do for a penny? Would you still take your mom to prom? Would you still french kiss that dog? Would you still do all that crazy stuff you may have discussed just now? Probably not.

But you know what the crazy thing is? We treat people the exact same way. Some people are worth our time, and some we pass by like they’re worthless. It’s as if we have one of those label guns in our head, and we constantly label people as “worth this much,” “worth that much,” “worth an hour of deep conversation,” “worth 10 minutes of superficial conversation,” “worth helping,” “not worth helping.”

Imagine this:

You’re driving home in the pouring rain from a long day - you’re tired, exhausted, and you just want to get home, flop on your bed, and sleep for the rest of your life. But on the way, you see your best friend walking on the sidewalk, drenched from the rain.

What would you do?

Unless you suck as a best friend, you’d probably pull over and give them a ride and, if they needed it, a place to sleep.

Now imagine this:

You’re driving home in the pouring rain from a long day - you’re tired, exhausted, and you just want to get home, flop on your bed, and sleep for the rest of your life. But on the way, you see a someone from your school/work/church/youth group/bible study. You’ve seen them around before, but haven’t really talked much, and you don’t really know each other very well.

Would you still pull over and give them a ride and, if they needed it, a place to sleep? Some would say “yes.” But I know that for some people reading this, the answer is a honest and convicting “probably not.”

Now imagine this:

You’re driving home in the pouring rain from a long day - you’re tired, exhausted, and you just want to get home, flop on your bed, and sleep for the rest of your life. But on the way, you see a man sitting under a tree, trying to avoid the rain. You assume he’s homeless because he’s also clutching onto a cardboard sign, probably trying to keep it from getting wet.

Would you still pull over and give him that ride and, if he needed it, that place to sleep? Would you even pull over and give him the leftovers of your lunch sitting in the back seat? Would you even pull over and give him the spare change in your pocket? Would you even pull over at all?

For the majority of us, the answer is a sad, cold, and convicting “probably not.”

I know I’m not the only one who sees something wrong here.

We can make a bunch of excuses in our head, like “What if he stinks,” or “What if he’s crazy and tries to kill me,” or something like that. But what if he’s not crazy? What if he’s just a guy who lost his home due to some unfortunate situation that spiraled out of his control? And who cares if he stinks? And for the believers reading this - do you not believe that God, the creator of the universe, will protect you and bless you in doing the work that He wants us to do?

Now I know there are petite girls and even smaller guys out there who may be thinking “If I let a big homeless dude in my car and he ends up being crazy, I’m screwed.” Well let me ask you a question - is doing something better than doing nothing? Park your car somewhere, take him to the supermarket around the corner where everyone can see you and where you’re not in danger, and buy him some food! Or pull over and hand him the leftovers from your lunch sitting in the back seat! Or pull over and hand him the spare change in your pocket! Toss it or chuck it to him for all I care - but DO SOMETHING!!! As my dad is always telling me, “Doing something is always better than doing nothing - no matter how big or small.”

As a matter of fact, it’s the small acts of kindness that speak the loudest to people. Now I don’t want to dull down the importance of what we would call the “bigger” acts of kindness, but I want to emphasize the fact that we cannot dull down the importance of what we would call the “little” acts of kindness either. Even if you don’t believe in God, this is an undeniable truth. And if you do, know this: the work of God is the work of God, no matter how big or small it may initially seem.

Now, I don’t want you to just read this blog, think to yourself “that was nice,” maybe even feel inspired for a hours or a few days, and then forget about it. I challenge you to intentionally take this message with you everywhere you go today, and tomorrow, and the next day, and the next day, and the next. Hang some kind of memorabilia from your rear-view mirror, wear a bracelet or something to remind yourself about it, do anything, do something! ‘Cause I didn’t write this to inspire you for a little while and then forget about it. This little blog exists to inspire daily. It exists to change lives - and through you.

So remember: Doing something is always better than doing nothing.

Hallelujah.

I’ve been thinking recently about waiting.

Since I’ve been in Cambodia, I’ve developed this vision for discipleship. I want to mentor and disciple Christian youth that are trying to survive middle and high school. When I think about it, I see it more taking place back at home in the States where I can relate to the kids more. So being in Cambodia, my vision has been on hold. But this question struck me today: Why the heck am I waiting? If my vision is to see youth discipled and to see a generation of Christian leaders rise up through it, what am I waiting for? If I really want this to happen, and the opportunity for change is here now, why would I wait?

I don’t believe that the Lord wants us to patiently sit around waiting for Him to hand us detailed instructions about what He wants us to do next. “A man’s heart plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps.” I think that God wants us to act upon our passions right now. I just can’t imagine doing ministry while sitting on my butt waiting for God to show up and hand me His will for the current season. I imagine it being a reckless, crazy, passionate sprint toward the passions that we already have. For some it’s street evangelism, for some it’s charity work, for some it’s discipleship, for some it’s fellowship, for some it’s just loving people. But no matter what our passions are, I refuse to believe that God wants us to sit around and wait for the green light to get them going. Even within ministry, nothing will happen if we don’t have drive, discipline, initiative, and passion to make them happen.

I praise the Lord that the epiphany hit me today. So here’s the message behind this blog: DON’T WAIT!!! You have a passion? You have an ambition? You have a vision? You have a dream? Take initiative and make it happen. Don’t wait for the Lord to hand you a map of how to get there. Start running now, and let Him direct your steps.

Tim is gone for the afternoon, so I’m inside resting for one more day. This is just another story of something I did while no one was around.

Today, I had a quick craving for ice coffee, but didn’t want to pay a whole 50 cents for one. So I gave myself a mission to make a big pot of ice coffee just for myself. I figured it’ll be free, it’ll be huge, and it’ll be all mine. Win, win, win.

With some effort and a bit of substitution I succeeded. I nodded with a smile of victory.

However, my smile of victory began to fade when I asked myself “what the hell am I gonna do with all this coffee?”

I realized I didn’t really want coffee anymore.

In addition, I didn’t have enough ice to make it cold. So now I have a pot of lukewarm coffee sitting by my bed with a ladle and little cup next to it.

Another day in the life of me. <3

Something kinda crazy happened today. This story is difficult to follow, especially since I can’t even put the whole story in an appropriate order with the right words in my head. Bare with me.

So, about 2 and a half months ago when I went to America for the holidays, my church prayed me, Blake and Zack out to our placement countries. Afterward, a woman named Alexia approached me. She had apparently spent 8 months (I think it was 8 months, anyway) in Cambodia, so we had a good little chat. Anyway, she ended up telling me about her bible study that was here (in Cambodia) and offered to try to get me plugged into it. So we exchanged emails, I left for Cambodia, and shortly after I received an email from the bible study. The bible study met on Thursday nights, but I was teaching English on Thursday nights, so it didn’t work out. That was the first month.

Well, in the beginning of this month (month 2) I started teaching guitar at Morning Star on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays and stopped teaching English. Morning Star is basically a like a free Christian school where kids can come and sing worship songs and have a place to stay if they need it.

Anyway, I somehow ended up volunteering to play guitar at a highschool graduation (I think it’s a highschool graduation, anyway) alongside a few khmer students from Morning Star. So this past Monday we started practicing for the graduation. We had 3 guitarists, 1 keyboardist, and 1 bassist. But we had a problem - we didn’t have a drummer! And apparently if we had no drummer, we couldn’t have a bass guitarist. But apparently there had been a guy teaching drums at Morning Star on Saturdays, which I was unaware of. I think he started teaching drums when I started teaching guitar. We just taught on different days, so we never met each other.

So yesterday, Josh the drummer and I met for the first time to practice for the graduation. Today after practice, he invited me to the bible study he’s been going to. So I go, meet some new people, and see some familiar faces. We studied Mark 7 - one of my favorite passages of scripture. I re-met a guy named Logan, who I had previously met at Helen’s party.

*Pause story* How we met Helen.

So someone from Tim’s church heard that he was leaving for Cambodia, and decided to get in contact with him. She apparently had a daughter in Cambodia already, so she wanted Tim to bring out a package for her. I’ll skip the rest of the details - the daughter was Helen.

*Unpause story*

So I re-met Logan, who has been here in Cambodia for about the same amount of time that I have been here - about 2 months. We got paired up to pray together, so I asked for prayer concerning Moody - that I would be accepted, but that ultimately I end up where God wants me, and that I’m supposed to find out if I got in in early April. Apparently he’s in a similar situation - he’s applying to law school, and is supposed to hear back before April 1. So all the similarities were really funny, especially because we had met previously already.

After the bible study, someone announced that we should pray for Steph, who is currently in the hospital because of dengue fever. The reason why I was like “whaaaat?!” is because I had met Stephanie at the church I had been going to.

The church was previously known as Elim, but stuff happened and now the Elim church building is not being used, and there’s a fellowship from that church now called The Second Mile that meets at a school nearby where I’m staying. So I met Stephanie there, who is actually with Daughters - Helen’s organization. Stephanie and Helen actually lived together at one point. So Tim and I got to know her a bit as well as some other people from Daughters before the dengue fever hit.

So, Stephanie also apparently went to that bible study. Understand why I was like “whaaaat!?”

So, when I was leaving the bible study, something clicked in my head - it’s Thursday evening. Could it be? No way. There’s no way. This couldn’t be the same bible study that Alexia tried to get me plugged into!

So when I got home, I opened my laptop and searched for that email that Alexia’s bible study sent me. It read “We’ve now finished the book of Galatians. Before we delve into the Gospel of Mark…” and I was like “WHAAAT!!! We studied Mark 7 today!!!!”

So I kept reading. “Thanks to Kira, Lydia and Karen for arranging the night for us.”

I thought to myself “I met a Kira and Lydia tonight at the bible study I went to…”

and I was like… “OMG NO WAY AAAAH THIS IS CRAYZAY.”

So basically, I ended up joining that bible study that Alexia originally introduced me to through extremely random terms, and random people who I’ve met previously go there. Isn’t God funny?

I hope you were able to keep up. Maybe I’ll make a timeline/picture to make it make a little more sense.

Anyway, I’m stoked, baffled, and awestruck by God’s awesome plan. And not the over-used American “awesome.” I mean the “worthy of awe” awesome.

Please keep me in prayer!

-Finances are steady for now, but please continue to pray that the Lord provide for me while I’m here, as well as provide for opportunities for blessing that may come along.

-I’ve been learning and growing a ton this month, so please pray that I CONTINUE to learn and grow MORE AND MORE. I want to change, I want to be shaped, I want to be molded, I want to be broken, and I want to be rebuilt into who God wants me to be. And I can’t do that on my own - it comes through grace and prayer alone.

-Please pray for more love. I want to love God more, and I want to love the people that He loves more. Love, love, love, love, love.

I love, miss, and appreciate you all so much. God bless you! :)

I’ve been thinking recently about the typical Christian Sunday morning, especially in America. In western society especially, many Christian practices are cultural tradition rather than biblical. And Sunday church is becoming dangerously close to becoming a cultural tradition rather than a biblical Sabbath, if it hasn’t already gotten to that point.

In some really big churches, I see people rushing and driving like madmen/women to get there on time, and then people cutting each other off to get into parking spaces. Then they put on smiles for one another as they enter the church. They sing to the Lord in praise and worship and listen to a message that they can take with them for the next few days (because it never really lasts the whole week, does it?) Then they all rush out to get out of the parking lot before the chaos begins.  Because when it does, you have people cutting each other off to get out of the parking lot, giving each other dirty looks, not following the “every-other” rule at T-intersections. And most go back to their regular lives after that.

Obviously this doesn’t apply to every single person in those churches. But how many people does it sound like? If it sounds like even only one, we have a problem on our hands.

In some medium-sized churches, I see people being considerate, giving each other parking spaces, talking to each other outside the church. But then, I see people go inside looking tired and exhausted after a long week, eagerly waiting for the service. And after the songs and message, I see people come out of the church looking exactly the same - tired, exhausted, and unsatisfied.

Obviously this doesn’t apply to every single person in those churches. But how many does it sound like? If it sounds like even only one, we have a problem.

In some small churches, I see community - everyone knows each other, people go to lunch with each other afterward, they grab coffees with each other during the week, and they work together as a fellowship to make the church run. But then, I see people not coming every week. Either they’re busy with other things, or they feel like sleeping in, or they just don’t feel like making the journey to church. None of these things are bad in themselves, but it’s a matter of the heart - can those other things really not wait? Why don’t you want to wake up early in the morning? Why don’t you feel like making the journey?

Obviously this doesn’t apply to every person in those churches. But how many does it sound like? If it sounds like even one, we have a problem.

Here’s my question - do any of these people sound like you? ‘Cause I’ll be honest, they all sound like me at one point of my life or another. I’ve rushed to church like a madman, I’ve entered and exited church exhausted and unsatisfied, and I’ve prioritized anything and everything above even going to church.

Something funny happened this Sunday morning.

Tim was going to an 8:30 service at Beracah (a Cambodian church) while I stayed in to rest a little more and practice guitar to lead worship in a church I’ve been going to recently. We thought we were the only ones in the building, so I told him to lock up and just leave the keys inside where I can get them to get out. He leaves, and I get a text message soon after saying “the keys are in the outer area, didn’t lock the inner gate.”

Ok, pause story real quick - let me give you a little picture of our buliding. There’s the outer-gate, which connects the first half of the restaurant with the outside-world. Parallel to that, there’s the inner-gate, which connects the first half of the restaurant and the second half of the restaurant and guest rooms. So the keys were in the first half of the restaurant, in-between those two gates, with the inner gate being unlocked.

Ok, unpause story - While practicing, I got this feeling that I really wanted to have a true Sabbath - a day of rest, bible reading, and prayer. But I was already responsible for a prior dedication. 

So, I get ready to leave, grab the guitar, lock my room door, and go downstairs to leave for church. When I reach the gate, I notice something a little funny - the inner-gate is locked. With the keys about 10 feet away from me. So close, yet so far. I look around past the gate and don’t see any motos or bicycles other than my own and a random bicycle that’s always there. So I’m the only one in the building.

I call Tim in a very frustrated state, saying how the inner gate was locked. He said that he had definitely left it unlocked, but that he’d call our landlord [I don’t have his phone number (but should)] to come let me out. We hang up, and I reminisce on how on earth the inner gate could have gotten locked. And then I remembered…

As I was playing guitar after Tim left, I heard food cooking downstairs. I didn’t think it was odd at all, because I live in a restaurant - someone’s always cooking. But that means that Tim and I weren’t actually the only ones in the building. So, what happened is that they left for church after Tim left, and locked the inner gate - probably assuming that I had left with Tim.

So I go upstairs - wait, ok, pause again. More detail about our building.

So there’s the ground floor which is the restaurant. Go up one flight of stairs, and that’s our guest room and bathroom. Go up another flight of stairs, that’s our kitchen and living room. Go up one more flight of stairs, that’s our landlord and his family’s room.

Ok, unpause - I go upstairs to the kitchen to make some breakfast and cool down, realizing that it wasn’t completely Tim’s fault. I turn up the gas and click on the burner - no fire. I click the knob a few more times - no fire. Then I remembered - our burner had run out of gas a few days ago, and we hadn’t gotten more yet. Sigh.

Then I hear something funny - a phone went off upstairs (in our landlord’s room), as if it had just received a text message… or a voice mail. A few seconds later, I get a text from Tim saying that our landlord isn’t answering his phone. “Seriously?” I thought to myself. Our landlord left/forgot his phone when he went to church.

But somehow immediately after I said “seriously?” to myself, I calmed down. There was no frustration in me. Praise the Lor, because the next thing I did was call Tim. I asked him to ask Joko (who was at Beracah) if he can lead worship at the other church for me. He’s good at doing that stuff on the spot.

So I go down to go into my room, when I notice something funny - my door is locked. I locked it when I first went downstairs.

Ok, quick pause - about how we lock our door. We have one of those door knobs with the push-button lock, and the key can only unlock the door. So we push in the lock from the inside and shut it to lock our door.

K, unpause - I locked my door when I first went downstairs. I thumped my head on the door and let out a big sigh. When all of a sudden, I remember where my landlord keeps the spare keys! So I go down to the restaurant, get the spare keys, and unlock my door. It was a bit of a scare, but ended up working out. Praise the Lord!

So now here I am - locked inside my building, writing this blog. Today, I’m going to have the Sabbath that I wanted and that our good Lord clearly wanted me to have.

So here’s my challenge for you. This coming Sunday, have a Sabbath day rather than a more culturally-acceptable church day. Stay home, find a comfortable spot to spend most of your day, and pray and read your bible. It’s not supposed to be something you discipline yourself to do, so try to stay away from that mentality. The Sabbath is a gift, and it’s meant to be a time of rest in Jesus. A time for you to encounter the Lord and be refreshed.

Matthew 11:28-29 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.”

Remember what Sunday is supposed to be, and what church is supposed to be. Keep the Sabbath day holy. God bless you! :)

WARNING: this is much longer than I initially anticipated. Prepare yourself.

So…

In Singapore, I attended an FT (don’t know what it stands for, but it’s a Christian business company) meeting with Bill Rigden. A man spoke about work and rest, and how we need to balance the two in order to have a healthy life. How people work better in short sprints with rests in between. I personally disagreed as everyone is different, but that doesn’t really matter.

Afterward, Bill got up and brought up the idea of “working from a place of rest.” It got a few “MMMM’s” (which you strangely get much more often in Christian circles), but it didn’t mean much to me at the time.

Now, I gotta come clean. For the past few months, I have been pretty dang exhausted.

Physically, I just haven’t had the energy to go about my day with any kind of spring in my step. I don’t know if events are happening too fast, or if I’m not getting enough sleep, or if I just need to go run around to find that the energy has just been hiding or something. But I’ve felt very tired. Emotionally, I’ve been running through hills. Spiritually, I’ve also been running through hills. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about my faith and many many other things. To pass time, some surf the internet, some read, some draw, some explore. I like to find a nice secluded spot, sit down, and think (if I’m not in the mood to make music). Normally, thinking and playing music give me that extra “boost” of joy. But lately, I haven’t been able to find that joy anywhere in anything.

It’s been exhausting. But why? Why am I exhausted? Where is my joy?

I was praying for strength to serve when I was struck with that question. “Why are you so exhausted, son?” I thought about it for a long while, but got nothing but angry daydreams out of it so I gave up on trying to figure it out.

But soon after, I heard something about the balance between serving and rest. It reminded me about Bill’s spiel on “working from a place of rest.”

I started thinking about my attitude when I was first going into this gap year - excited, on fire, full of energy, and most of all, full of love and compassion. I thought of the people who would always tell me that they were proud of me or whatever for “sacrificing” a year of my life for mission, and blah blah blah. But that wasn’t my attitude toward it at all. As a matter of fact, I really didn’t like when people would say things like that. I felt like they didn’t get it and didn’t understand why I was doing a gap year. It wasn’t about “sacrificing” anything, I was just going out and doing what I loved - loving and helping people.

Then it clicked.

I’m not here to “serve.” I never have been. It’s never been a single factor in the equation. And I’ve been so exhausted and lost my joy because I forgot about that. I forgot about my first intentions of doing this whole gap year. It wasn’t to serve, but to love.

What was that one thing that Jesus says in Matthew and Mark about the greatest two commandments that are found in Deuteronomy and Leviticus? To “serve the Lord your God will all your heart soul and mind” and to “serve your neighbor as you serve yourself,” right?

… WRONG. It’s all about love, love, love. And that love expresses itself through service, not the other way around. Just because we serve doesn’t mean at all that we love. We serve out of love because we legitimately care about people; we don’t serve out of duty. Remember 1 Corinthians 13?

Paul writes “If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.”

So what does that mean? It means that LOVE is to be the FOUNDATION of everything we do. Yes, Jesus tells us to give to the poor, to turn the other cheek, to serve, to become last, etc. But what else did he say? Concerning the greatest two commandments, he says in Matthew “all the Law and the Propehts hang on these two commandments.” And in Mark, “there is no commandment greater than these.” So we are to love God and love people because everything else – all of Jesus’ commandments, the whole Law, unconditional joy, desire to share the gospel, a hunger and thirst for righteousness, and everything else good – just comes with it in a lovely package. So it’s only through LOVE that we can come to “[serve] from a place of rest.” It’s not tiring or exhausting or draining because then we’re just doing what we love - loving and helping people.

And it’s only through love that we can truly find TRUE joy in service and in everything else.

From whom do all good things come from? God.

Are love and joy good things? Yes.

So are love and joy actually GIFTS from God? You betchya.

And when does the Lord bless us with these gifts? Well, there’s 2 different scenarios that I can think of at the moment.

1. When we ask for them. Jesus says in Matthew 7,

 ”Ask and it will be given to you’ seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened. Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!”

Don’t have something the Lord wants you to have? Ask for it.

2. When we’re in the middle of His will.

And what is God’s will for us? In the big picture, it’s for us to love Him, and for us to love people.

Can we feel love outside of God? Of course we can. Can people love other people without following Christ? Of course they can. But compared to the love we can feel from encountering the Lord, and compared to the blessing of love that we can show one another through God, the love that’s outside of God is pathetic and short-lived. Believe me when I say that not only is the love between us and God unconditional and a million times more satisfying, but the love that we show one another through God’s blessing of love is also unconditional and a million times more satisfying – on both ends.

So, that’s what God’s been teaching me lately. I hope you enjoyed it/got something out of it!

Please keep me in your prayers! Prayer for love and everything that comes with it.

Thanks for reading! God bless you. J 

Oh my lanta, where do I begin.

So, Monday we went to the Killing Fields, which is basically a display of bones and mass graves from the genocide that happened 30 years ago. They use it as a tourist attraction now, but that’s not even the sickening part. The sickening part is that it works.

I didn’t actually go in as I wasn’t about to pay $5 to in, but Tim did, and it was apparently a (negatively) “unbelievable” experience. People taking pictures of each other smiling next to the displays. Many words run through my mind to describe them, but I think I’ll settle with “dumbies.”

We then went to Toul Sleng, which is a prison that was used during the genocide period to torture the prisoners. Again, a $2 tourist fee. (signs straight up say “tourist - $2.”). Locals can just go in. Lol.

I went in to get a feel for what the people actually went through. Again, it’s unbelievable what people can do to each other. You wonder where they were in their life - lost, brainwashed, depressed, angry. The list goes on. And even more, what the prisoners were going through - agony, confusion, betrayal. It goes on and on and on. No one was smiling in that place. Which was a good thing, I guess. I didn’t want to mentally [menstrually (lolmissyouguys<33)] punch anyone in the face.

Then we went to Wat Phnom. It was Chinese New Year, so it was very busy as all the locals were giving their offerings to Buddha and ancestors and who-knows-what. Really the only way I can describe it is with a sigh.

Joko brightened up the rest of the day by taking us into the city.

Tuesday we had a meeting about an event we’re putting on on Valentine’s Day. We’re basically inviting everyone and anyone (Christians and unbelievers alike) to reflect on and celebrate God’s everlasting love. Hence the name of the event - “Everlasting Love.” Prayer for it would be really great, as we’re really expecting that God will impact lives through it. Also prayer for a the place we’re renting, because we could do A LOT of great things with it if the landlord wants to give us a good monthly price or something.

Wednesday we found out what our main projects were for the next 5.5 months. Tim’s making a documentary about the truth about Cambodia and life here, as well as a short-film kind of thing about how the Lord can and does use everything and anything - good or (initially) bad - to have His kingdom come and His will be done. Kind of like a “Letter from Hell,” but not as stupid-for-a-number-of-reasons.

I will be putting on English classes for the Beracah guys (Beracah is a houseful of awesome Christian Cambodian guys) 3 times a week, as well as hosting an English Friendship Club for the Beracah guys + the locals in the area. So… prayer would be wonderful. :)

This is getting long, so…

Thursday, we went to the city with Iara. It was pretty fly.

Friday was Tim’s birthday and we did stuff. Pretty fly, for a white guy.

Saturday (last night) I got a motorcycle helmet for $18. I’d say it was a score. Then spent the day with the Beracah guys and ended up staying the night. We played ping pong for like evers (I actually started winning after a while!) and watched Johnny English to end the night. I woke up in the morning with red feet. Mosquitoes love bare feet. I actually found out that all the Beracah guys get bit just as often, you just can’t see it because they have darker skin. Boss, right? They are just too cool.

Sunday (today) I woke up and went to church, which was conveniently only a short walk downstairs. Soknan and I went to get me an ukulele. Ended up finding one that would satisfy me for now for $18. It doesn’t exactly have the best sound, but it was fun showing the guys that you can actually make music with it, as none of them have ever seen one played before.

So, that was my week. It was pretty fly. Prayer for: continued financial support; spiritual, mental, and physical strength; and general well-being would be great.

Thanks, God bless you! :)

2 days ago, I set foot in a slightly humid, very warm, pretty dang noisy, kinda crazy, incredibly incredible city in a third-world country. Is it anything I expected?

…no. It’s better.

Tim and I had some great adventures on the way! We spent about 4 hours in Bandar, Brunei exploring the city. We took a water taxi (a guy in a boat) around the Kampong Ayer water village and saw the streets be blocked off for go-kart racing that lasted the whole time we were there. I also experienced my first milkshake made with rice milk. OM NOM NOM!

After that, we had a nice little 45 minute flight to Singapore to stay with Bill Rigdon and his family. What an incredible bunch! I played cricket for the first time with them, which was pretty dang cool. I say it’s more fun than baseball.

After the huge blessing of the Rigdons, we departed from Singapore and arrived safely in Cambodia. It wasn’t as humid nor warm as I expected. Upon arrival, we met Joko, Kris, and Kris’ wife Mary Ann. We drove to the Indonesian restaurant where we’re staying and had some great Indonesian food. More om nom noms. After they all left, Tim and I went upstairs to explore our room. 2 huge beds, air conditioner, and a random little room with nothing in it in the corner. IT’S AWESOME. There’s a natural blanket of heat here, so no one needs blankets when they sleep. I’ve never slept so well in my life.

Yesterday we met Sheila who showed us around town and had us over for drinks and snacks. Then Tim and I went into the Russian Market (called Phsar Toul Tom Poung in Khmer) for the first time. It’s quite a touristy place; most of the white people I’ve seen here were in there. But it’s still pretty awesome.

Today Tim and I spent the morning/afternoon with Joko.

Oh. My. Lanta.

So we get up, get ready for the day, and count down the minutes to 9:00 when we expected to be picked up. All of a sudden, Joko opens the door and says “Hello! Ready to go?” with a smile on his face. We go downstairs and sit down at a table. He taught us some useful phrases in Khmer like “thank you” and “how much,” and taught us how to direct a motorcycle taxi by saying “turn right,” “turn left,” “go straight,” and “go back.” Then he said that it was time to practice! He got 2 moto dops for Tim and I and told us to direct them while following him on his motorcycle. We got there and thankfully arrived at our destination successfully. We had a Cambodian breakfast consisting of pho and coffee and walked around to get familiar with the area. After that Tim and I had a few hours to ourselves before our evening meeting. We tried to get moto dops, but could only get one. We were going to be late, so Tim and I agreed to what the man suggested - to both get on! The three of us journeyed on one motorcycle to our destination, and Tim and I were prayed in. But then what I think to be the highlight of the day happened - the House of Barakah.

We met like 15 guys in a 5 minute time span which was pretty cool. Tim and I got our bums handed to us in ping pong. We sang Our God is Greater in Khmer (I sang in English) which was beautiful. I loved the sound of the Lord being worshiped in another language.

I’ll be spending most of my time in Barakah, which I am extremely excited about. Joko, Tim and I are making a documentary of Cambodia to show people the truth about Cambodia and its people, and Tim and I will be helping the Barakah boys with English while they teach us Khmer.

I was gonna wait for the weekend to write a blog, but I was too excited. :D

SUCH a fun weekend of being locked in Tamara’s toilet, walking around the market (Naomi came! :D), hanging out at Tim’s quiz night, sharing some Russian and Ukrainian vodka at Tim’s, and saying goodbye to Tamara and Anna over wine and bailey’s. Little did I know that our adventure had only begun.

In a nutshell…

After seeing Zack off at the airport, we waited around for another 8 hours to board our plane (which was 2 hours late). After boarding the plane, we waited another hour to take off. After about 45 minutes, the pilot announces that the landing gear malfunctioned and wouldn’t go in, so we had to turn around and go back to the London Heathrow airport. The pilot said that United would pay for everyone to stay in a nearby hotel.

We had to go through Customs again, and at some point I put down my ukulele to fill in a form or something and never picked it up. But I didn’t realize this until we were already on the bus to the hotel. Will I ever see her again? I don’t know. I pray that I do. But if that’s not God’s will, then a very merry Christmas to a very special musician.

Will a free stay in a hotel, Hot Fuzz, free wifi, and a free buffet dinner cheer me up?

…Not really. But God is good, He has a plan, and I’ll get home eventually. I’d appreciate prayer! :)